OMM - Worry less, all will be ok

I literally do not know why I am writing this post at this particular time as I am currently 2 hours overdue for an essay that I have not yet started. There is so much on my mind, I guess this post will lighten my load a bit.

I can easily admit that procrastination has led to my past few assignments all exceeding the submission date. Even now, as I mentioned before, I have an essay due as of 2 hours ago. Yet, here I am, 'wasting' more time writing this... So as I lay in my bed mid-breakdown, I ponder over what I really am doing with my life. I hate studying, but I continue to do it. I hate my job, but I continue to do it. I want to give up everyday, but I still make an effort. It seems that all other things must be prioritised over my happiness and wellbeing. Some people really forget the importance of ones self-happiness which is where I tend to get caught up in and 'follow the crowd'.

I need the reassurance to know that it is OK to abandon an essay for the sake of my mentality. To know that it is OK to skip an assignment when it is majorly compromising my mental stability. This is not to say that if you are upset over 'school work' that you should give up. This message is to reassure my readers that it is OK to not complete something for the sake of your mind and self. I can easily see where I can be misunderstood here, so I'll do my best to make it clear. I guess it is my own fault in some cases because of my insufficient time management skills. However, that is overruled in cases where I feel so mentally overloaded and unstable that I literally cannot function efficiently.

Listen to my words; EVERYONE functions differently. Some people are able to handle more than others. So do not ever compare how much you can handle with the amount that another person can handle. Understand your own mind to the point where you can make individual decisions to support your stability. I am not a counsellor nor a psychologist, I merely just want to reassure people that it is OK. If you compare one test to the entirety of the world, you can see how minimal it is. It is not the end of the world if you give something up for the sake of caring for your own personal wellbeing.  I repeat, it is not the end of the world.

Post breakdown and after a big encouragement and reassurance from a close friend, my mind feels clear and focused. Less crowded and definitely more in a relaxed state. Now 5 hours after the deadline and I feel more at peace and calm compared to my earlier feelings. Yes it has been 3 hours since I first started writing this post. I had a lot to ponder over.

For meditation, relaxation or sleeping assistance I recommend listening to ASMR videos on Youtube. Just search ASMR in the search bar. My favourites are; Gentle whispering and fairy ASMR.

This post is probably missing a lot of content. I will edit it again in the morning. If you feel some offence or feel what I have said is wrong, please let me know, so I can further explain my intentions. I mean no wrong or harm, I merely want to be that message of reassurance for those who are feeling the strains and pressures from their surroundings.

Lea GJ