Wednesday, 14 October 2015

OMM - Relationships

A relationship. What is it? That is what I am trying to figure out. How long does it take to discover if the person is 'the one'? That is what I am trying to figure out. What does it mean if my mind is constantly changing the opinion I have on the person? That is what I am trying to figure out. Should I wait a while or give up now? That is what I am trying to figure out. If I spend so much time thinking these things, what meaning does that have? I need some answers because my conscience is giving me no straight answers.

This whole relationship thing is an entire new platform for me. My dad was always strict about the 'NO BOYFRIENDS' rule which I followed. However when the restriction kept extending, from age 16 to high school graduation to UNIVERSITY GRADUATION!!! I do not know why but it made me so upset and frustrated, even to the point of tears. It came to a point where I did not care if the opportunity came for me because my jealousy of seeing other couples everyday after Uni would increase everyday. Walking along the main street as a solo-being really decreased my already low confidence level. I really understood and felt the feeling of loneliness. That must sound so dramatic and ungrateful but that is the reality of my emotions. I became self-admittedly desperate. So here I am, 20 years old, finally matched with a guy. Whether it is a perfect match is in my biggest doubts. 

I am really unsure if the person I am with now is the one I am meant to be with forever. I have constant doubts. My mind is telling me, 'who cares, just stick with this person, they showed interest which is all I wanted therefore I should just let it be`. I feel that perhaps I am being really selfish by staying in this relationship when I am not 100% certain that it is what I want. In fact, I do not know what I want.

Sometimes I have moments where I feel like I am certain I have found the right person but also there are times where I stop and think 'what am I even doing? Is this what I want?'. It kind of feels like I did not let myself have enough time to 'mingle' and just jumped straight into a 'serious' relationship.

Anyway, once again I will leave it here for now and will pick this back up in a Part 2 sometime in the future. Thanks for reading.

Lea GJ

Sunday, 11 October 2015

OMM - Living and working overseas

Recently I have been really into the Korean culture and have been watching hundreds of videos revolving around it. I have even learnt how to read and write Korean which I am extremely fascinated about. To be quite honest, I thought it would be more difficult learning up to this stage but so far the progress has been quite swift and simple. I am picking up words and common phrases used from variety, reality and casual shows.

Anyway, back on to the topic of this post, I stumbled across many people who have graduated from university and moved to Korea to teach English . This took my interest immediately! Coincidentally, I was casually browsing through a local job website when I saw an opportunity to teach English in Korea. I took this as a sign of fate.

- Continuing this from 28/03/15 on 09/08/15 -

I've decided to do a student exchange to a University in Korea. Well, I hope to be accepted into the programme for Semester 2 of 2016. My University is partners with....

- Continuing this from 09/08/15 on 11/10/15 -

Well it seems that I am unable to finish writing this post due to probably social media distractions haha. So~ I will try to pick up where I left off.

Oh, about that student exchange programme thing...I've decided not to do it. No specific reasons, just a casual decision. I will just finish up my university studies in my home country and will just travel to Korea for a holiday instead. It would be awesome if I could perhaps have a working holiday overseas in Korea or to complete my University Co-op assignment there.

In terms of living overseas, I do not think it will be a situation of mine for the coming short-term however I would absolutely love to live abroad in the future. Countries that I would consider living for an extended period would be South Korea, Europe and China.

Well, this post was not so informative but it is what was/is On My Mind. See ya in the next one.

Lea GJ

Friday, 2 October 2015

OMM - Worry less, all will be ok

I literally do not know why I am writing this post at this particular time as I am currently 2 hours overdue for an essay that I have not yet started. There is so much on my mind, I guess this post will lighten my load a bit.

I can easily admit that procrastination has led to my past few assignments all exceeding the submission date. Even now, as I mentioned before, I have an essay due as of 2 hours ago. Yet, here I am, 'wasting' more time writing this... So as I lay in my bed mid-breakdown, I ponder over what I really am doing with my life. I hate studying, but I continue to do it. I hate my job, but I continue to do it. I want to give up everyday, but I still make an effort. It seems that all other things must be prioritised over my happiness and wellbeing. Some people really forget the importance of ones self-happiness which is where I tend to get caught up in and 'follow the crowd'.

I need the reassurance to know that it is OK to abandon an essay for the sake of my mentality. To know that it is OK to skip an assignment when it is majorly compromising my mental stability. This is not to say that if you are upset over 'school work' that you should give up. This message is to reassure my readers that it is OK to not complete something for the sake of your mind and self. I can easily see where I can be misunderstood here, so I'll do my best to make it clear. I guess it is my own fault in some cases because of my insufficient time management skills. However, that is overruled in cases where I feel so mentally overloaded and unstable that I literally cannot function efficiently.

Listen to my words; EVERYONE functions differently. Some people are able to handle more than others. So do not ever compare how much you can handle with the amount that another person can handle. Understand your own mind to the point where you can make individual decisions to support your stability. I am not a counsellor nor a psychologist, I merely just want to reassure people that it is OK. If you compare one test to the entirety of the world, you can see how minimal it is. It is not the end of the world if you give something up for the sake of caring for your own personal wellbeing.  I repeat, it is not the end of the world.

Post breakdown and after a big encouragement and reassurance from a close friend, my mind feels clear and focused. Less crowded and definitely more in a relaxed state. Now 5 hours after the deadline and I feel more at peace and calm compared to my earlier feelings. Yes it has been 3 hours since I first started writing this post. I had a lot to ponder over.

For meditation, relaxation or sleeping assistance I recommend listening to ASMR videos on Youtube. Just search ASMR in the search bar. My favourites are; Gentle whispering and fairy ASMR.

This post is probably missing a lot of content. I will edit it again in the morning. If you feel some offence or feel what I have said is wrong, please let me know, so I can further explain my intentions. I mean no wrong or harm, I merely want to be that message of reassurance for those who are feeling the strains and pressures from their surroundings.

Lea GJ

Sunday, 11 January 2015

Healthy Bugger - Kayla Itsines BBG week 1

January 6th is the day I committed myself to Kayla Itsines' Bikini Body Guide. I had been contemplating purchasing it for about 2 months, the new year gave me the final push I needed to be serious and devoted to attaining my ideal, healthy, fit and happy body. To which I then purchased her Ebook that you can find here. As I mentioned in one of my previous posts, I have tried numerous times already to lose weight and get fit however, I am determined and willing to put everything aside to focus on getting my mindset straight and my body where it needs to be. 

So, week 1 is officially over and I can truthfully say that I am already seeing changes. My abdomen is becoming toned. I feel that a lot of my side/back flab has lessened. Prior to commencing I used to be able to hold a fair chunk of 'side rolls' but now I can only just get hold of a piece of it. That would have to be the most noticeable physical difference. 

I have been eating very well and I might make a separate post on my meal plan if it continues to go well. There hasn't been a real craving for any specific foods although I did have one stick of pocky earlier today (that my sister gave to me) and the chocolate on that stick definitely set off some chocolate withdrawal cravings. 

I have been contributing a lot more to housework which my mum is very happy about. I'm not sure if becoming more active with fitness has caused me to feel the same towards cleaning but I thought I would mention it anyway because I have been getting out of my room more. 

Confidence-wise no difference at the moment. I do have a more positive approach to my mornings which I really appreciate. Truthfully, being summer and all, waking up to a clear blue sky does instantly spell me into a happy spirited mood.

I'll post another update after the completion of week 2 and will prepare some pictures to post also.

Thanks for reading, if you're doing the guide also I hope that everything is going well, don't give in to temptation! Stay strong :)

Lea GJ

Saturday, 3 January 2015

Read - Hirunaka no ryuusei

Hirunaka no ryuusei (Daytime shooting star) , the first manga that I have ever read and completed. I am so happy that I read this manga because it is literally the greatest read! Definitely will recommend this for those who love shoujo manga . Honestly , fav fav fav ! Trust me on this.

Following an almost typical love triangle story, guy likes girl, girl likes other guy. The content and conflict in this manga creates a strong interest for readers (well, for me anyway). The first male character, Mamura, is shy yet certain. The second, Satsuki, is outgoing yet doubtful. As you can already tell, they are essentially polar opposites aside from a single key factor. . .their love interest.

The artist, in my opinion totally hit this manga with perfection. There is absolutely zero negative comments I could even think to make about the art in this manga. Everything is amazing and the emotions of the characters are clear to read and relate to.

Here is a link to the website where I read Hirunaka no ryuusei

My overall rating for this manga sits comfortably at a solid 9/10

I hope you all enjoy reading this manga as much as I did.

Lea GJ